10 takeaways from the book “Never Split the Difference” by Chris Voss
1. Tactical Empathy: Use empathy as a tool to build trust and rapport. Voss emphasizes the importance of understanding the other party’s perspective to navigate negotiations effectively.
2. Mirroring: Repeat the last few words of what someone has said to encourage them to elaborate and feel heard. This technique helps build rapport and gather more information.
3. Labeling: Verbally acknowledge the other party’s emotions to diffuse negative feelings and reinforce positive ones. For example, “It seems like you’re frustrated with the current offer.”
4. Calibrated Questions: Ask open-ended questions that begin with “what” or “how” to gather information and gently direct the conversation. This approach avoids defensiveness and encourages problem-solving.
5. The Accusation Audit: Preemptively list all the negative things the other party might say about you to disarm them and build trust. This technique demonstrates self-awareness and honesty.
6. Bargaining Range: Instead of a specific number, provide a range with your target number at the low end. This approach appears more flexible while still anchoring the negotiation in your favor.
7. “That’s Right” vs. “You’re Right”: Aim for the other party to say “that’s right” rather than “you’re right.” The former indicates true agreement, while the latter often signals disengagement.
8. The Power of “No”: Allow the other party to say “no” early in the negotiation. This makes them feel in control and more open to your ideas later.
9. The 7-38-55 Rule: Pay attention to tone of voice (38%) and body language (55%) in addition to the actual words (7%) used in communication. This helps in reading the true intentions and emotions of the other party.
10. Black Swans: Look for unknown pieces of information that, when uncovered, can drastically change the negotiation dynamics. These “black swans” can be game-changers in reaching a favorable agreement.